Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
