Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is Oprah even human
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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