there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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