Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
