oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
