I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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