It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
