Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize