whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
