And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
