Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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