Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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