i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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