i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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