that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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