dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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