It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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