Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
