He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he thought i was a dude.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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