no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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