I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
