Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
