Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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