4 words: hood of his car
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
