Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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