Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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