Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
