they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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