No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i came on her dog
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
