omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
