What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
