so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
