note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He did a backflip because drugs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
