They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
