bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
