So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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