did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
