Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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