Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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