I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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