I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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