im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We are two peas in an std pod
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
