i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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