you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need moral support for this bender
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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