Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
