brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
