Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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