Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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