We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
