Need sex. Gaining weight.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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