I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Couch. On fire.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
