just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
