if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
