my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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