Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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