Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
