she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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