ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
vagina is talking i cant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
