She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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