So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
