Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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