Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize