they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
