you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
