"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
