grandma shit on top of the toilet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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