I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
