HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
