I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
