Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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