so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
