Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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