i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
