He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
