I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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