Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize