I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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