I'm really into asian looking animals
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
