sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
