yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
