Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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