I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Randomize
