Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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